someday you’ll understand
by Kaiikon
Summary: Kai becomes ill after his battle with Brooklyn. During his illness, Rei and Kai become attached to each other. But what happens when Rei confess his feelings to his captain? Will Kai ever understand what the true love really means? ONESHOT KaiRei Yaoi


SUMMARY: Kai becomes ill after his battle with Brooklyn. During his illness, Rei and Kai become attached to each other. But what happens when Rei confess his feelings to his captain? Will Kai ever understand what the true love really means? Or maybe his dark past will never allow him to forget about itself?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Beyblade

A/N: Ok, I'm reposting this one. It's definitely an one shot, no changes expected. Sorry for my mistakes, if you find some, please feel free to let me know. Hope you'll enjoy the story, don't forget to leave a review

**Someday you'll understand**

- _How the hell we wind up like this?_ – The Chinese thought, craning his head to gaze at so familiar windows, artificial light shining through the panes. – _Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed? _– Rei sighed and turned away, grabbing his bag and then walking blindly ahead, his mind immersed in the deepest thoughts.

* * *

After defeating BEGA, everything started to go bad. It was like a formidable dream, a real nightmare, which supposed to be completely different. During the first week Kai was getting better and his wounds from the battle with Brooklyn started to heal, but not until the seventh day came did his condition start to deteriorate.

In the end, the boy landed in the hospital, with his organism weakened and the internal state far from being healthy. The G-Revolution members stayed all in Japan – Max turned down his mother invitation concerning living in USA for a while right after their victory and Rei made a decision not to come back to his home village. The White Tigers team took this with understanding, feeling that it was what Rei really wanted to do.

Five weeks had passed and there was no slightest improvement of Kai's condition. It was steady but still poor as if Kai's will to life had burned out. The slate haired boy sank inwardly, his body cringed, skin became sallow and dark rings rounded his eyes. The team was visiting him regularly, but it was Rei who was next to Kai every day. He just felt good being with his captain now even if it was usually him who was talking. Nevertheless, neither of them was unsatisfied with that. Kai was a great listener and was pleased that he could get know so much about his Chinese teammate. Then, Rei could see interest in Kai's eyes and was glad that the ill teen was appreciating his company. It was all he was craving for right now. But still, this situation couldn't stay like that forever...

* * *

- We have no clue why his condition remains like that. Every examination shows that his organism is very strong and he has all possibilities to return to full health.

- _So why is he still so weak..._- Rei thought with a concern.

- However - the doctor continued. – We think that the problem is connected with something in his mind. Don't get me wrong, but it seems that Kai has no desire either to live more or to recover.

- But why? – Rei asked more to himself than to the man in front of him.

- We have no idea. Maybe you will figure it out. – The doctor said, trying to console the boy with smile and then turned over to disappear in his surgery.

Rei stood in his spot, head filled with unanswered questions, eyes shimmering with concern. He sighed and made so known way to the particular room. Number 707...

_- It should be lucky..._ – familiar thought appeared in Rei's mind, the thought that had been accompanying him every time he stepped through this door.

The concern in his amber orbs disappeared behind the curtain of comfort as they met the crimson ones, staring intently at the newcomer.

- Hi there. – Rei smiled as he took his usual sit next to Kai's bed.

_- How much he has changed..._- he thought, looking at the fragile figure of the teen, the blue triangles contrasting with his deadly pale skin, his once fairy eyes plunged in dullness. Yet, Chinese could recognize the weak light of appreciation and consent to his presence. Rei was the only one out of all people Kai wanted to be here, talk to him, receiving rare replies from slate boy.

- I think that it would be a good idea if play some game. – Rei said promptly flashing his fangs in a smile.

Kai raised his eyebrows questioningly, showing a bit of interest.

- I've said a lot about myself so far, but still I don't know much about you. – Rei explained and seeing discouragement appearing on Kai's face he hurried to continue – I thought up that I would be asking you some questions, saying my answers and then guessing your ones. Then you'll say if I was right. What do you think about it?

Rei gazed at laying boy, hoping that his plan would work. After a moment Kai slowly nodded and turned his sight at the white ceiling above him.

Chinese flashed his smiled again and asked a question he had prepared earlier.

- What is your favorite season? I like the summer and you... – Rei mused for a moment. – I bet it's winter, isn't it?

Kai's gaze shifted from the fluorescent lamp to the chair Rei was sitting on. Then he spoke slowly:

- Correct... – as if he was surprised with that.

Rei smiled smugly and continued.

- So, another one... What's you favorite sweet...? No, you don't like sweets...So what's your favorite fruit instead? Personally I like nectarines. And you...- he thought for a moment, but couldn't find any answer. – I have no idea... – he smiled sheepishly.

Kai rolled his eyes but decided to let Rei know about such trifling thing.

- I like oranges. But I hate peeling them. – He added and Rei smiled at this comment. He knew now what he would bring to the hospital next day.

- Hmm... What about your favorite place, the most breathtaking and memorable view? I'll never forget the sight of rising sun in the mountains in China, those gold rays reflecting from the sea on the horizon and making their way through the peeks... And I guess that your memorable view is somehow connected with Russia, am I right?

Kai tensed a bit at this comment but then took a deep breath and answered, closing his eyes:

- I remember the view of Siberia's tundra during the sunset... – but he didn't want to continue, still not wanting to show his all thoughts.

Chinese stared at Kai, thinking over the boy's answer, imagining teen's figure somewhere on snow expanse, his usual scarf flaying with the wind, majestic face bathed in red light of sun. But that Kai had disappeared, somehow refusing to stay as strong as he had used to.

Suddenly Rei spoke up uncertainly, yet more seriously than before.

- Kai... those tattoos on your cheeks... Were they made on your own free will?

The slate boy closed his eyes and sighed, feeling tired. He knew he owed the answer to Rei and sooner or later he would be asked this question.

- Against my will... – was all he managed to say without his voice trembling. _– Man, I've become so weak lately._ – Kai thought bitterly, observing Chinese boy sitting on his usual spot, his golden eyes gazing intensely on his knees, clearly rethinking the answer he got.

Only a buzzing of arc lamp was distracting the silence that filled the room. Two boys were engrossed in this irritating sound, their minds obviously sunk in deep thoughts.

- Have you ever been in love? – Kai's steady voice made Rei quit his musing and he stared at teen dumbly. He quickly realized the strange look on his face as he noticed fleeting smirk on boys lips and he smiled a bit.

-Yeah... – he answered slowly which made Kai a little taken aback.

The laying boy wondered if Rei was still in love with that person, but didn't dare to ask. However, sensing that leaving the Chinese's answer without any comment would be unfair he continued. – Once I thought that you were in love with Mariah... – he trailed off, feeling a little stupid while saying such things. He closed his eyes again but opened them immediately, hearing the crystal laugh.

Rei grinned at the laying boy as he noticed his eyebrows arched questioningly – You know... I've never been attracted to any of my old team members in that way. Besides, I'm not interested in girls.

Kai couldn't help but stared at his companion, strange emotions filling his heart. He wanted to say something, to admit what he had been always hiding from the others. Finally founding his voice he whispered, wondering if Rei would hear that:

- The same as me...

Chinese said nothing, just stared blankly at Kai's laying form, hiding his emotions under the mask of indifference. However, deep inside, his heart was turning somersaults with joy. There was still a chance and it seemed that his decision about abandoning the return to China wasn't pointless at all.

Little did Rei know that one of possible reasons of Kai's overrunning illness had disappeared.

* * *

- Hello! – Rei's cheerful voice reverberated in the bleak white room and made Kai's lips curve into a little smile.

The boy was sitting on the edge of hospital bed, his legs hanging down and arms folded.

- _Doctor was right. He looks much better nowadays... I wish he finally recovered._ – Chinese thought as he approached the teen.

- Maybe we could go for a walk? – He suggested, wanting to take Kai away from this austere sterile room.

- Yeah, why not. – The boy responded, standing on his feet a little shakily.

Rei put a dressing gown on his shoulders, fleetingly noticing that Kai became a little shorter because of his stay in hospital. The difference was barely noticeable but Chinese needed to lower his sight in order to look into crimson eyes.

They left the room number 707 and headed towards the canteen, which was the only pleasant place in the building, with big glass panes overlooking the green garden. As they took their sits next to the window, Rei took out the paper bag with oranges inside and started to peel them. It had become a habit since their question-answer game that Chinese was bringing fruits with himself.

The boys were enjoying themselves just sitting there in silence, gazing through the window, eating the oranges, their minds sunk in thoughts. However, the silence was suddenly interrupted by Kai's quiet voice.

- Rei?

- Yeah? – Rei looked at Kai intently, wondering what the boy was going to ask for.

Kai reminded silent for a while, considering how to ask his question in the best possible way. Finally he decided to make it direct.

- Are you going back to China when I finally recover?

Chinese was really surprised by this question, not ever assuming that the teen would ask him about such thing.

_Can I tell him the whole truth? Nope, it's too risky at this point... He would reject me..._

- Well, I'm not intending to go there for a while... I feel better here with G-Revolution team I guess.

Kai silently stared at Rei for a while as if he was trying to read out if the boy was honest. But the twosome hadn't a chance to end their conversation as the rest of G-Revolution who had decided to pay their captain a little visit suddenly joined them. However, starting from this day, Kai's condition started to improve completely. The boy somehow overcame the fear for recovery.

* * *

- Kai? Where do you live?

The dark haired boy raised his eyebrows at this question.

- I mean, you haven't been at your place for a while and since you are going out of here tomorrow maybe I could tidy up a bit.

Kai hesitated but said nothing at Rei's offer and after a moment he just opened the drawer in the bedside table...

One hour later Rei stood inside a quite big bedsit with a bedroom, bathroom with double bed and kitchen attached to the living room. Chinese smiled inwardly, trying to image Kai's face when he would finally see the result of boy's preparation...

It turned out that Rei's imagination had created an exact expression Kai had the next day, when he was back at his home. The slate boy wasn't messy but he had never seen his bedsit in such clean condition. He had never dreamt that such state was even possible. Everything was polished to flash, every thing placed in logical, nearly pedantic position, the pleasant smell f freshness wafting in the air.

- Thank you – he muttered, still a little stunned. Rei said nothing and the inconvenient silence fell apart. Chinese boy had been struggling with his thoughts since they came inside the flat and now he finally made up his mind. If he didn't tell him now, he wouldn't have a proper chance next time probably. He slowly opened his mouth and stuttered:

- Kai, I need to tell you something... You see... – he swallowed and ended quickly. - I really like you.

The silence returned and for Rei it was like hours when Kai turned to face him. He stared into gold eyes for a bit with an unreadable expression and then whispered:

- I think I like you too...

It took a while for Rei to understand the meaning of Kai's words. He couldn't help but smile widely and when he was about to respond, Kai interrupted him with the most surprising offer Rei could hear in such moment.

- You told me that you're staying with Tyson. Maybe you would like to move in here? – And seeing Rei's shocked expression, Kai smirked and added – I think you can be tired with Tyson's noise.

* * *

They had been living together since few weeks, but nothing had changed in their relationship. They hadn't show any signs of affection, any kisses shared or hands held. Not that Rei hadn't tried, though it showed no result. To the raven-haired teen it seemed even as if his contacts with Kai had become somewhat worse that before.

Chinese approached Kai, who was leaning against banister on the balcony and wrapped his arms around boy's flat stomach, not discouraged by the tension he felt under his fingers.

- The dinner is ready – he announced, tilting his head to look at Kai's face. - You have beautiful eyes...

- I've never liked them. – Kai responded a bit harshly as he pulled out from unwanted embrace – They remind me of a blood.

Rei let out a sigh and followed Kai, who had already sat down and started to eat. After a few minutes of silent consumption, Chinese asked matter-of-factly:

- Maybe we can sleep together this night?

The question made Kai lower the fork as he arched his brow at the boy opposite him. The truth was that since Rei moved in he had been sleeping on the couch in the living room though he didn't complaint because it was quite comfortable. The reason of his question wasn't concerning his nights – it was more about Kai and him. Rei just hoped that if there were sharing the same bed, maybe it would make silent boy to feel more comfortably around Chinese teen.

- I mean just sharing the bed, nothing more. – Rei added seeing Kai's expression.

- If you want so...- Kai answered indifferently as he came back to eating.

* * *

It wasn't what Rei was dreaming about, but he knew he couldn't expect more. Kai, dressed in the loose T-shirt and sweat-pants just laid down on his side, throwing a short "G'night" over his shoulder.

Chinese laid on the other side of the bed, musing over the situation. He came up to the conclusion that trying wouldn't hurt and he slowly sifted his body, pressing his chest against Kai's back, wrapping one hand around slender waist. He could feel muscles under a fabric tense up and he sighed inwardly. Again, the same...

But this time, next to the tension, he could feel Kai tremble. Kai was trembling – that was for sure something disturbing. Longhaired boy shifted away form Kai's back, feeling that it was making Kai uncomfortable.

- Don't touch me... – Rei heard Kai whispered. But it wasn't an order, something more like plea. He observed with inward increase of anxiety as slate haired boy cringed, pulling his knees close to his chest.

- Kai, what happened? – Chinese asked and receiving no answer he jumped out of the bed, sitting one the floor next to Kai's side. Having boy's eyes on his sigh's level he noticed that crimson pools were somewhat out of focus as if the teen wasn't quite aware of his presence.

_- I wonder what the hell is going on? Is Kai afraid of me? I have never seen him act like this... Is he remembering something? Kai, hell, give me some sign, what I'm _suppose_ to do..._

He took even closer look at boy, praying inwardly to know how to react at this strange behavior.

Suddenly Rei saw it. It was engulfing Kai from inside, devouring his sanity, leaving his eyes dull and blind, his chest desperately gasping for air. It was something that had been lurking in Kai's mind for ages, making him reserved, cold ... as if Kai was fighting with all his strength to keep it imprisoned inside him, to keep it away from daylight.

With a sudden thought Rei jumped at Kai, pinning him down to bed, gripping teen's hands, glaring into crimson eyes.

- Kai! – Rei hissed – Let it out at last! Do not get overpowered by it! Get away from this parasite! Relieve it! Shout!

It seemed that something inside Kai didn't allow him to listen to Rei. He shifted uncontrollably, not wanting to make an eye contact with Chinese male.

- Kai, look at me! – Rei grasped Kai's chin and leaned down even more, intently staring into boy's eyes. – Tell me, what happened? Tell me now! Kai?!

-_ I can't ... I can't keep it like that ... Why is it happening now... What does he want from me?_ – Kai thought frantically. – _Shut up..._- he tried to speak out but he couldn't utter a sound. – _Shut up...!_ – He swallowed. – SHUT UP!

Rei fell silent, seeing difference in Kai's eyes. They were full of fire and the teen was glaring now right into amber eyes above him.

- You don't know how it ... – he stopped and then spoke louder. – You'll never feel like I felt. How they were raping me, touching me with their filthy hands, my body stuck with their secretions, the pain tearing me apart... Their devil laughs breaking my head from inside... And it has been over and over again since then. All the lonely nights... again and again. Every touch bringing back those memories of hell... – Kai paused to take a breath and continued, a bit more calmly. – I haven't forgot about Abbey because of releasing Black Dranzer's full power... It was because of my punishment after that... the punishment that has been continuing ever since then... in my head, in my body...

Rei let go of Kai and sat on his side of bed, his amber eyes focused on the cringed figure.

- You've never told me... It would be easier if you told me about your past, at least something about yourself. – He said tenderly, hiding his eyes under the black bangs.

The slate boy turned his back against Rei and said nothing, just lied still on his side, his breath becoming steady again. The Chinese decided to do the same. There was no use to talk to Kai right now and the male could reject any try of comfort. But before closing his eyes he whispered:

- Remember that I won't hurt you...

* * *

- I won't hurt you Kai... You will feel only pleasance. – Rei hissed mercilessly as he leaned down.

Kai's eyes flashed opened and found his limbs tied down to bed, his naked body stretched over it. The Chinese teen was leaning imperiously over him, his amber eyes full of lust and frenzy.

- Rei, what are you...

- Sh... – The boy placed his palm on Kai's mouth. – It will be over soon...

And with that he entered Kai abruptly, making the laying boy cry out with pain.

- No Rei! Stop it!

- Shut up Kai! I'm not done yet. – Rei roared as he pumped even harder.

- Please...stop...

Kai's eyes shot opened as he tried to catch his breath. He felt no more pain and his body was dressed back in his T-shirt and shorts. He glimpsed Rei's back lying calmly on the other side of the bed.

_- It was just a dream... He's sleeping..._

He took a deep breath and stood up, changing pajamas for his normal clothes and leaving the bedroom. Little did he notice amber eyes gazing at his back.

After an hour or so, Rei decided to follow Kai. He was really worried about him and wasn't sure how his reaction should look alike. He quickly got dressed and calmly approached the balcony's doors through which he saw the erect silhouette of the captain. Chinese slowly came out and stood behind the boy. Opening his mouth to speak he was interrupted by cool voice.

- You've once told me that you had been in love... with whom may I know?

Rei was really taken aback by the sudden question and, what's more, he wasn't sure if he could fully answer to it.

_- Should I tell him now... it this situation his will reject me... but still, I can't hide it anymore._ – His thoughts were spinning with a high top speed. _– Tell him Rei, tell him now..._

- It's you who I'm in love with... – Rei whispered and stepped forward. - Kai, I really love you. – He added even quieter as he raised his hand to place it on Kai's shoulder.

Time had stopped for Kai as the teen's words started to spin in his mind, reverberating painfully, bringing back all his nightmares, awaking hidden memories. All he wanted was to be happy, but now... Why the hell did Rei have told him this... He had been so sickened with the love he knew, it meant all the worst for him.

- Shut up Rei. – The boy in front of Rei hissed as his clenched fists started to tremble, making Chinese to stop his movement. – I thought that I could trust you. I thought that you liked me...

- But Kai... If you like somebody very much then you start to love... It's a stronger feeling. You want to give happiness and safety to the beloved person.

//_I killed them because I love you._// - the voice in Kai's mind spoke up as the memory flashed back.

- Bullshit! – Kai bawled turning to face Chinese teen. – Love means only pain and hatred. It brings nothing but suffering. –With that he passed the stunned boy and entered the flat but was quickly followed by black haired male.

- Kai you don't understand. I don't want you to suffer, love doesn't mean it at all. – He didn't know how to explain it. Love wasn't easy to describe, even if he had been in love with Kai for so long.

//_I let you experience this pain because I care for you Kai, remember//_ another annoying voice from the past hit Kai's thoughts.

- No Rei. – Slate boy whispered as he stopped in his tracks, his head lowered and fists still clenched. – It's you who don't understand... And if think you will never understand... – Kai fell silent for a moment and then spoke for a last time, his firm voice stinging mercilessly Rei's heart. – Pack up your things and live this place.

* * *

- _How the hell we wind up like this?_ – The Chinese thought, craning his head to gaze at so familiar windows, artificial light shining through the panes. – _Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed? _– Rei sighed and turned away, grabbing his bag and then walking blindly ahead, his mind immersed in the deepest thoughts.

- Maybe someday you'll understand Kai...Someday...

Please review and write what do you think about it. Anyway, I beg you just leave me a word


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